Kelvinwright's Blog

postmodern thoughts

app world

I met up with a friend this week for a coffee. It had been a while since we met up. She has married; I have started a new job, and I have also acquired a Smartphone. This latter acquisition seemed to cause more emotion in her than in me. My friend asked me what applications (sorry, apps) I have installed – my response was a shrug of the shoulders. And I’ve always considered myself a person open to new technologies. However, perhaps my resistance to the Smartphone has been on the one part not wanting to be available 24/7, and on the other seeing the amount of time wasted checking email every 22 seconds, updating twitter and facebook every hour and seeing who has poked me, commented on a photo, uploaded a photo, installed a virtual farm, etc, etc, etc.


My friend started to tell me about different apps. The Smartphone I have has an MIM (Mobile Instant Messaging) service that allows users of smartphones to communicate with each other via instant messenger from their mobiles, “Or we could just email?”, I suggested. I then began entering the world of apps. “Do you have Whatsapp? Or GoogleMapApp? (This one begins by telling you where you are (a great help in case I forget). Or RecipeApp (surely much better than a recipe book in the kitchen, as I scroll down the screen with flour covered hands).


I returned home and delved further into app World, I learnt that that there are such strange applications (sorry, Apps) as Period Calculator (use your imagination!), Period calendar Delux; Ovulation Calendar (an app for women wanting to know their most fertile time of month, for either planning on having a baby, or avoiding all contact for fear of an unwanted pregnancy) – so there we have it, a When-to-Shag app! Our lives have become not just organised by the app, but around it. Imagine the couple, about to get into bed, but before they do, “Honey, my When-to-Shag app says it’s better to wait until tomorrow!”


My favourite app though, has to be the AntimosquitoApp, an app that produces a sound in a range that humans cannot hear, however, mosquitoes can hear it and will fly away from the source of the sound (my Smartphone) – maybe they’ll invent one to ward off unwanted ex’s who continually bug us with pokes, comments, likes, and instant messages (when of course common sense would say: delete them from your FB friend’s list!!!!). Which got me thinking, what apps would we like to see on our phones, which will probably never be invented?


April 22, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , ,


  1. Any app to disable kids on flight? Tips other than “lift the volume of your iPod” much appreciated.

    Comment by Diego Vilariño | April 22, 2012 | Reply

  2. @ Diego. I’ll second that app! Or at least a kids-volume-control app so I can mute them

    Comment by Kelvin Wright | April 22, 2012 | Reply

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